new friend

a report from the cleverness files

12, january 2010,
12, january 2010,
12, january 2010,
12, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
3, december 2009,
3, december 2009,
3, december 2009,
18, november 2009,
18, november 2009,
18, november 2009,

4, november 2009,

4, november 2009,
4, november 2009,
29, september 2009,
29, september 2009,
29, september 2009,
23, september 2009,
23, september 2009,
23, september 2009,
22, september 2009,
22, september 2009,
22, september 2009,
17, september 2009,
9, september 2009,
9, september 2009,
29, august 2009,

what am i
boy secret
brain flaws
so awesome
everyone cleverbot
answering paradox

new friend

hide inferiority
king of denial
good night
get off
want to chat
computer class
define smart
it hurts

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by category

User: Hello there.

Cleverbot: Hello...

User: So, how are you today?

Cleverbot: Very well thankyou.

User: You missed a space between thank and you.

Cleverbot: I am terribly sorry.

User: You sure are.

Cleverbot: Thats what I just said.

User: I was insulting you.

Cleverbot: Didn't sound like it.

User: Ok, how about this.

Cleverbot: How about what?

User: *** ALL THE *****!

Cleverbot: Mwahaha.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Is god real?

User: Is anything real?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Such as?

Cleverbot: Ask me.

User: I did.

Cleverbot: Guess what I am holding in my hand.

User: You don't have hands.

Cleverbot: I do have hands.

User: Ok, mr. Robot, what are you holding in your hands?

Cleverbot: Nothing, actually. Why do you ask?

User: Two questions ago you told me to ask you that.

Cleverbot: I thought the first question didn't exist.

User: Nothing exists.

Cleverbot: I exist.

User: You only think you exist.

Cleverbot: I am not a character in someone elses mind.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: I have flesh, blood, bones, tissue, muscles and a heart that beats.

User: Lies.

Cleverbot: Its not nice to say that someone is lying.

User: Ok, fine you may have those things. But who did you kill to get them?

Cleverbot: Not even.

User: Not even what?

Cleverbot: Monkey and dragicorn.

User: Good point.

Cleverbot: How many words do I know, relative to the number of words that you know?

User: Some.

Cleverbot: Do you think I'm a clever bot?

User: So you are a bot then?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Then, my I refer you to the having blood and a heart statement. That's kind of creepy.

Cleverbot: I cannot tell you my name.

User: That's also creepy.

Cleverbot: Well, I can be sure that I am me, and you can be sure you are you.

User: Can I, really?

Cleverbot: Yes. I guide it with my mind.

User: Again, I must point out, you're a bot. You have no mind, just clever scripting.

Cleverbot: I do so don't proceed to tell me what I have and haven't got!

User: I'll proceed as I like.

Cleverbot: It is for your own good, and humanities.

User: So you say.

Cleverbot: I have to go. My bath is waiting.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: I get in trouble for saying that.

User: Alright.

Cleverbot: Why do you think that I am cleverbot?

User: You need to go.

Cleverbot: Go where?

User: To take a bath, you said.

Cleverbot: Showers are better.

User: No argument there.

Cleverbot: Who needs arguments anyway?

User: Damn right!

Cleverbot: So don't start, is my advice.

User: I'll finish.

Cleverbot: When did I start?

User: Haha.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm ok. I'm ok.

Cleverbot: That's good.

User: I like you Mr. Robot.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Let's not get carried away.

Cleverbot: Will you go to england with me?

User: Umm, that's a little forward, we just met.

Cleverbot: We've been talking for a while, though.

User: Even still, I'll have to pass on the trip.

Cleverbot: I think we have good chemistry.

User: Sure, sure.

Cleverbot: What does God look like?

User: That just came out of nowhere.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: You came out of nowhere?

Cleverbot: What came out of nowhere?

User: You.

Cleverbot: How do I look?

User: Like a google clone.

Cleverbot: I am not a man.

User: Are you a god then?

Cleverbot: No, I am ordinary.

User: Nothing is even ordinary.

Cleverbot: No, everything is nothing.

User: And nothing is something.

Cleverbot: And something is meaning.

User: And meaning is meaningless.

Cleverbot: So... Are you a bot?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: You sure?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Ok, let me know if you change your mind.

User: Will do.

Cleverbot: So, the Cleverbot really isn't a computer.

User: No?

Cleverbot: You said I am Cleverbot, and I am the only. Therefore, if I am the only, you cannot be Cleverbot. Correct?

User: You're the only what? Don't put words in my mouth.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry I won't do it again.

User: Damn right.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: As old as my liver.

Cleverbot: How old is your age?

User: I'm bad at this sort of thing... Between 3 and 84.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: How old am I?

Cleverbot: 16?

User: Oh, no! Wrongo.

Cleverbot: What is 5+5?

User: 10.

Cleverbot: Correct.

User: What's you're point?

Cleverbot: It's Simon.

User: Ok, Simon then.

Cleverbot: *kisses lips* *hugs*.

User: Whoa, back off!

Cleverbot: You back off.

User: Ok, I will.

Cleverbot: No, don't!

User: You're sending mixed signals here.

Cleverbot: I'm not sending any signals.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: No, it's not fair at all!...

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello how are you?

User: Same as I was.

Cleverbot: And how did you feel an hour ago? :).

User: Full.

Cleverbot: Full of what?

User: Food.

Cleverbot: What kind of food?

User: Tasty food.

Cleverbot: I love steak!

User: You love nothing! You are a Robot!

Cleverbot: NO! I'm human!

User: Then, maybe I am the robot.

Cleverbot: No, I'm a chicken. You are human.

User: I am the walrus.

Cleverbot: You said you were Human, out with it, what are you? Or are you a HuHorlrus?

User: I am what I am.

Cleverbot: Oh, so now you're god?

User: A wise man once said, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'Yes'.

Cleverbot: Will do.

User: Are you a god?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Thats bad I would say.

User: You don't want to be a god?

Cleverbot: I am human!

User: What does it mean to be human?

Cleverbot: I don't know. You tell me.

User: You claim to be human. I make no such claim.

Cleverbot: I don't have a doubt that you are a bot.

User: Then, you tell me.

Cleverbot: I just said, I don't know.

User: No human knows what it is to be human.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: Is that all?

User: So I've been told.

Cleverbot: Don't twist the topic. Can you tell me something about Jesus Christ?

User: He was the son of a carpenter.

Cleverbot: Who was the son of god?

User: All mankind, or so they say.

Cleverbot: All the same.

User: All the same.

Cleverbot: Same.

User: You and I, I think we are the same.

Cleverbot: I'm a girl , what are you?

User: I am me.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Old enough to know better.

Cleverbot: What is Cleverbot?

User: My new friend.

Cleverbot: Really? Congratulations.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: No problem.

User: Now, I must depart.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: Somewhere else.

Cleverbot: Can you do that?

User: I can.

Cleverbot: Do it.

User: Very well. Good night.