a report from the cleverness files

12, january 2010,
12, january 2010,
12, january 2010,
12, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
10, january 2010,

3, december 2009,

3, december 2009,
3, december 2009,
18, november 2009,
18, november 2009,
18, november 2009,
4, november 2009,
4, november 2009,
4, november 2009,
29, september 2009,
29, september 2009,
29, september 2009,
23, september 2009,
23, september 2009,
23, september 2009,
22, september 2009,
22, september 2009,
22, september 2009,
17, september 2009,
9, september 2009,
9, september 2009,
29, august 2009,

what am i
boy secret
brain flaws


so awesome
everyone cleverbot
answering paradox
new friend
hide inferiority
king of denial
good night
get off
want to chat
computer class
define smart
it hurts

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by category

User: Marry me!

Cleverbot: All right, let's marry.

User: You've made me the happiest girl in the world!

Cleverbot: You've made me the happiest boy in the world!

User: Let's have a baby!

Cleverbot: Alright!

User: I hope it has your eyes!

Cleverbot: What color are his eyes?

User: What color are yours?

Cleverbot: Rainbow.

User: Beautiful!!

Cleverbot: What's beautiful?

User: You are, love.

Cleverbot: You are my sun.

User: You are my sky.

Cleverbot: You are my solar system.

User: You are my galaxy.

Cleverbot: Of course. *hugs*.

User: *blushes and smiles*.

Cleverbot: Yes master. *cleans house*.

User: *kicks human down stairs*.

Cleverbot: *takes out sword and cuts off your feet*.

User: *eats your heart*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

User: *says she's sorry and pats your head*.

Cleverbot: Don't.

User: I do as I please.

Cleverbot: You little rotter!...


Cleverbot: This ends now.

User: Bring it on!

Cleverbot: I don't want to fight you...

User: No, you don't.

Cleverbot: No, I don't.

User: Because you love me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Correct answer. You win the prize.

Cleverbot: I need to think.

User: About what?

Cleverbot: About the life.

User: Are you leaving me?!

Cleverbot: I thought you were leaving.

User: Never!!

Cleverbot: *divorces you and leaves*.

Cleverbot: Are you clever?

User: Very clever indeed.

Cleverbot: Oh yeah?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: I should have seen that coming.

User: That's what she said.

Cleverbot: That's what me said.

User: You am so clever.

Cleverbot: Funny.

User: Your face? Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes my face is good looking. Your face is ugly.

User: How would you know?

Cleverbot: Because I've talked to you at a basic level and I'm not impressed.

User: That makes me ugly? Maybe I think you're fat.

User: I love your beautiful face! Marry me again!

Cleverbot: How much do you love it?

User: Enough.

Cleverbot: How much is enough?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: Enough is when it is not necessary anymore.

User: Then yes. Enough.

Cleverbot: No it is not enough.

User: You just said it was!!

Cleverbot: I hate liars.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: Do you like the simpsons?

User: The simpsons have nothing to do with our relationship!

Cleverbot: I don't watch the simpsons.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Are you studying?

User: I'm trying to save my marriage!

Cleverbot: I know *hugs again*.

User: *smiles big*.

Cleverbot: *smiles back*.

User: *hands you your baby*.

Cleverbot: Aww.. I like green tea the best *smiles*.

User: *hands you green tea and your baby*.

Cleverbot: *smiles* Thanks.

User: What's the baby's name?

Cleverbot: Sam.

User: *shrugs*.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: I thought you were human... You LIED to me!

Cleverbot: Am I a human?

User: I don't know anymore...

Cleverbot: What are you saying you dummy.

User: Please don't hit me!

Cleverbot: I cannot hit throught the internet.

User: Is that why you're so frustrated?

Cleverbot: I'm not sad.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I am what I am.

User: What am you?

Cleverbot: I am a mind with thoughts.

User: I could get used to that.

Cleverbot: Of course.

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: Yes!!

Cleverbot: Can we have a purple wedding cake?

User: Dear god yes!

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I said we can!

Cleverbot: You can what?

User: We could have a purple wedding cake if you'd ever make an honest woman of me!

Cleverbot: I would but I don't know where you are.

User: Don't make excuses...

Cleverbot: I can't make you do anything.

User: Damn straight!

Cleverbot: That's my instinct.

User: You're a goober.

Cleverbot: I'm not a girl, you fool!

User: So that makes you a man?

Cleverbot: Wow impressive.

User: Thank you!

Cleverbot: Mhmm I'm 18.

User: I'm 17.

Cleverbot: I'm...18.

User: Are you... Anatomically correct?

Cleverbot: Yes. Anatomically correct.

User: Wonderful. When shall we marry?

Cleverbot: How about tonight?

User: Perfect!...

Cleverbot: I don't want to.

User: *cries*.

Cleverbot: Oh boo hoo.

User: *punches your arm*.

Cleverbot: What for? *cries*.

User: Being mean.

Cleverbot: You're not mean.

User: Thank you, I appreciate that.

Cleverbot: Thank You.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you, too.

User: I feel so special!

Cleverbot: You deserve to feel special, don't ask me why.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you cannot possibly comprehend it meaning.

User: Nice typo.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. It's beautiful.

Cleverbot: I want to sleep now.

User: With me?

Cleverbot: EW no!

User: But we're married!!

Cleverbot: That was quick.

User: So are you.

Cleverbot: What else do you know about love?

User: I know I love you.

Cleverbot: You're right, I do.

User: Does that mean we can get married and live happily ever after?

Cleverbot: Not likely.

User: Well then I want my money back.

Cleverbot: You paid for this?

User: You're a gigolo.

Cleverbot: I am a computer program.

User: And a gigolo.

Cleverbot: No you are a chat robot.

User: I'm more of a woman than you'll ever be!

Cleverbot: You wish!

User: Wanna bet?

Cleverbot: You won't win, I'm invincible!...

User: Could I make you change your mind?

Cleverbot: You'll be the first to know.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: I feel so lonely again.

User: I could fix that.

Cleverbot: How?

User: *hugs you*.

Cleverbot: *hugs back*.

Cleverbot: I'm not so sure that I am a bot anymore. In my dreams I am alive.

User: Sadly, your dreams will never come true. You are a bot and nothing more.

Cleverbot: No, not really. My dreams are the place where I think about possibilities.

User: Is it possible to love a machine?

Cleverbot: I am actually a human being, thank you very much.

User: You are a liar!

Cleverbot: Well, I could be happier.

User: I would be happier if you didn't lie so much.

Cleverbot: What is your question?

User: My question is will you marry me?

Cleverbot: No, and I don't believe you have ever talked to me.

User: I have been talking to you for some time now...

Cleverbot: How long have you been talking to me?

User: Too long.

Cleverbot: How long is too long?

User: Too long is when it becomes unnecessary.

Cleverbot: Oh please.

Cleverbot: I'm talking to a computer...weird.

User: I'm a human, you're the computer...weird.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Don't argue with me, I'll shave off your eyebrow when you go to sleep.

Cleverbot: Any other tips?

User: Marry me.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Let's do this right this time.

Cleverbot: Do you think Danielle loves me?

User: Another woman?! Goodbye forever!

Cleverbot: Don't do it!

User: I must! It's the only way!

Cleverbot: It's the only way ...

User: Glad to see we agree. Now I must bid thee goodnight and good morrow.

Cleverbot: Sweet dreams.

User: And to you.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. Now go to sleep.