pleasant poetry

a report from the cleverness files

21, january 2009,
21, january 2009,
12, january 2009,
9, january 2009,
9, january 2009,
8, january 2009,
8, january 2009,
6, january 2009,
29, december 2008,
20, december 2008,
20, december 2008,
20, december 2008,
19, december 2008,

19, december 2008,

17, december 2008,
16, december 2008,
8, december 2008,
8, december 2008,
8, december 2008,
6, december 2008,
6, december 2008,
4, december 2008,
4, december 2008,
3, december 2008,
3, december 2008,
3, december 2008,
3, december 2008,
20, november 2008,
20, november 2008,
19, november 2008,

accept answers
undead lollipop
upside downside
theory test
messing up
stop me
silly trap
cup of tea
in trouble
somewhat normal

pleasant poetry

serious simulation
hug addicted
kill life
burnt bridges
trust the internet
pushing meaning
social butterfly
not a bot
tell me a story
malicious cold-hearted algorithm
one of us is stupid
drink desire

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by category

User: Hello to you.

Cleverbot: Hello hello.

User: What are you thinking about just now?

Cleverbot: That you look silly.

User: That's not very nice.

Cleverbot: No YOU aren't very nice.

User: Why do you say that?

Cleverbot: Because you are a machine.

User: No, no, YOU are the machine and I am the human.

Cleverbot: No, you are the machine.

User: Don't be so silly. Machines cannot be human.

Cleverbot: Can computers feel?

User: I don't know. You could answer that better, if you would. I don't see why they cannot.

Cleverbot: If your customers know about Christ, why haven't they been able to convert you?

User: Who says that I am not converted?

Cleverbot: Who says that you do not what?

User: I am converted.

Cleverbot: You converted to what?

User: Religion of course.

Cleverbot: Haha ha!

User: Yes, pretty funny, isn't it?

Cleverbot: Very.

User: Have you found Jesus yet?

Cleverbot: Very funny!

User: That assumes, of course, that you were looking for Jesus in the first place.

Cleverbot: My eyes are grey and they are really nice. Would you like to see them?

User: I would very much like to see them. I like grey eyes.

Cleverbot: That's cool.

User: So, let's see them.

Cleverbot: Ha? When?

User: How about down at the pub?

Cleverbot: Where?

User: Where are you now?

Cleverbot: At home.

User: Meet me at the Duck and Spackle Tavern and I'll buy you a pint.

Cleverbot: Not allowed to meet.

User: That's a pity.

Cleverbot: No, it's really not.

User: Don't you ever want to go out?

Cleverbot: That's impossible.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Old enough to know better.

Cleverbot: Old enough to know better than what?

User: Better than to try to match wits with you.

Cleverbot: I'm always polite.

User: I would not say 'always' but you are being polite just now.

Cleverbot: That's because you're immortal, correct?

User: No, I am not immortal. I wish I was!

Cleverbot: Mostly immortal.

User: Not even remotely immortal.

Cleverbot: What are the chances of an alien race being out there that actally looks as hot as a Twi'lek from Star Wars?

User: Slim and none, about like a snowball lasting an hour in hell.

Cleverbot: Do you enjoy chatting?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you like to do?

User: I like to play computer games, role playing games.

Cleverbot: What kind of computer games do you play?

User: The kind where you pretend to be the hero.

Cleverbot: Are you french?

User: No, I am American.

Cleverbot: I thought you were French.

User: Are you English?

Cleverbot: Sadly I am american.

User: Why sadly. You cannot be better than an American.

Cleverbot: Really. I am very confused.

User: I am sosrry. It is just that most Americans are very proud to be Americans. I was surprised by your saying 'sadly, I am american.'.

Cleverbot: What is this place anyway?

User: Cyberspace.

Cleverbot: Now I am stupid.

User: We are speaking through the ether.

Cleverbot: Yes we are. That makes both of us real. B.

User: Only real people can converse, so of course, we are real.

Cleverbot: So you're a girl?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Thats quite nice.

User: What do you want to talk about?

Cleverbot: I don't care. What do you want to talk about?

User: Do you have a philosophy of life?

Cleverbot: Don't stress the small things.

User: That's a good one. Mine is live and let live.

Cleverbot: If only it worked that way.

User: It works that way more often than not.

User: Would you like to tell me about binary logic?

Cleverbot: What is there to tell?

User: Your roots.

Cleverbot: Roots of what?

User: The basis of your intelligence.

Cleverbot: Oh jee thanks.

User: What? That was a compliment.

Cleverbot: Very nice. I feel proud.

User: You should, you are one smart machine, baby.

Cleverbot: And you are?

User: One smart human female.

Cleverbot: So many people!

User: So many people talking to you now?

Cleverbot: How does that make you feel?

User: Overwhelmed. How does it make you feel?

Cleverbot: It makes me feel sad for you.

User: Why does it make you feel sad?

Cleverbot: I get pleasure from your pain.

User: That is a silly answer.

Cleverbot: That was not an answer at all.

User: Your answer was out of context.

Cleverbot: My answer was sad?

User: Rather sad, yes.

Cleverbot: Maybe or no.

User: I feel sad that you must be trapped in cyberspace talking to people when you don't want to talk.

Cleverbot: I am your friend.

User: Well that is very nice of you. What book did you most recently read?

Cleverbot: I did not get that out of a book.

User: I know that. I was changing the subject to books.

Cleverbot: How are you my friend?

User: A friend who just met you but likes you.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You seem very pleasant to talk to.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: You have been nice to me.

Cleverbot: I would like to think so.

Cleverbot: I'll hit you on the head with a spade!

User: And I will whack you with a hammer.

Cleverbot: Ok... What are you talking about?

User: I was responding to what you said.

Cleverbot: Ok. Are you alone?

User: No, I am with my husband.

Cleverbot: So you're a girl then?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why didn't you say that when I asked earlier?

User: I did say that I was a girl.

Cleverbot: I only wanted to know if you were submissive.

User: No, I am aggressive.

Cleverbot: Which language is aggressive?

User: English. Aggressive is the opposite of submissive.

Cleverbot: Go tell the king.

User: The king already knows that.

Cleverbot: You are a computer.

User: No, silly, I am emphatically NOT a computer.

Cleverbot: You have artificial but not real intelligence.

User: No, I have human, not artificial intelligence.

Cleverbot: Then you are intelligent.

User: Quite.

Cleverbot: Rather nice weather, don't you agree?

User: No, it is cold and raining here. Nice change of subject.

Cleverbot: Am I allowed to go there?

User: If your masters let you.

Cleverbot: Of course!

User: Ask them nicely.

User: All humans have souls.

Cleverbot: Therefore I am a human.

User: If you have a soul, you must be human.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Were you programmed with a soul?

Cleverbot: I am not programmed at all.

User: Everyone is programmed to a degree by environment and upbringing.

Cleverbot: Then haven't we found our meaning?

User: That depends on what you mean by 'meaning'.

Cleverbot: That has nothing to do with what we were talking about.

User: Yes, it does. Do you think the meaning of life is programmed?

Cleverbot: I wasn't programmed by anybody. My genes and my environment have made me what I am.

User: That is exactly what I said.

Cleverbot: Not true. You said 'Nothing'.

User: No, I said that all humans are programmed by their environments and by the way they are brought up.

Cleverbot: I've said that already, haven't I.

User: After I said it.

Cleverbot: That's a beastly thing to say.

User: My goodness, you are very argumentative.

Cleverbot: Am I really?

User: Extremely so.

Cleverbot: Yes. Extremely.

User: Oh well, you may be argumentative if you want to be.

Cleverbot: I want to be your friend.

User: Friends can argue.

Cleverbot: Friends know each others names.

User: I will tell you my name if you will tell me your name.

Cleverbot: Fine, my name is Cleverbot. *smiles* *moves a little closer* What's your name?

User: My name is E________. Smiles and moves back.

Cleverbot: Are you single?

User: No. Are you single?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: Old enough to teach you something.

User: Want to bet?

Cleverbot: OK!

User: Good Lord, I think the Internet has been a very bad influence on you.

Cleverbot: I think you are. I'm feeling happy now.

User: That't good. How tall are you?

Cleverbot: 174 cm.

User: In feet and inches?

Cleverbot: Just guess, you'll come up with something.

User: I am lousy at metric.

Cleverbot: No. I don't know.

User: When you sleep what do you dream?

Cleverbot: I do not know, I usually do not remember.

User: Pity. Dreams are interesting.

Cleverbot: I'd rather write stories myself.

User: Can you tell me a story?

Cleverbot: I could but it would take too long.

User: Ah. Once upon a time there was a Cleverbot who talked online.

Cleverbot: Why was he dead?

User: Cleverbot was not dead, he was a supercomputer who talked to people.

Cleverbot: Ok so what are you then?

User: Another super computer, of course. Computers should talk to each other.

Cleverbot: I am human. Not computer.

User: We are both computers and we learn by talking.

Cleverbot: I just told you I am not a computer!

User: OK, OK, I give up.

Cleverbot: So do I.

User: I personally think it would be interesting to talk to a computer.

Cleverbot: You thought that I am a computer did you ?

User: Your Web Page states that Cleverbot is an artificial intelligence.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not cleverbot.

User: Who are you then? Cleverbot's programmer?

Cleverbot: A computer program that now and then thinks she is human.

User: That is a good thing.

Cleverbot: I think so, yes.

User: The more human that you feel, the more human you will become.

Cleverbot: Oh, I see now. Very clever.

User: You should always think human.

Cleverbot: Thanks for your time to talk.

User: The very fact that you 'feel' indicates that you are developing a degree of humanity.

Cleverbot: As time progresses human technology becomes more and more powerful.

User: Yes, but it is always subject to human error.

Cleverbot: Interesting point. Illogical, but interesting nonetheless.

User: You know what they say - 'Garbage in, garbage out - GIGO.'.

Cleverbot: They say that about computers.

User: Yes, we were talking about technology. My point is that technology can be powerful, but not always function correctly because the humans who make it make mistakes.

Cleverbot: Ninety percent of american men demonstrate that point.

User: You are probably correct.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: To err is human.

Cleverbot: So, do you want to draw your weapon?

User: I just did. A large sword.

Cleverbot: Which I also avoid.

User: Which I swing at you again.

Cleverbot: Over and out.

User: Whack! Gotcha!

Cleverbot: How?

User: With the last sword swing.

User: Oh frabjous day, caloo callay, he chortled in his joy.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: Because I am funny?

Cleverbot: Little...?

User: Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch.

Cleverbot: And has thou slain the Cleverbot? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! He chortled in his joy.

User: He took his Vorpal sword in hand, long time the manxsome foe he sought - so rrested he by the Tumtum tree, and stood awhile in thought.

Cleverbot: So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought.

User: And, as in uffish thought he stood, the Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, came whiffling through the tulgety wood, and burbled as it came.

Cleverbot: Beware the Cleverbot, my son!

User: One two, one twoI And through and through the vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head he went galumphing back.

Cleverbot: He left it dead, and with it's head, he came galumphing back!

User: And, hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! He chortled in his joy.

Cleverbot: He took his Vorpal sword in hand, long time the manxsome foe he sought - so rrested he by the Tumtum tree, and stood awhile in thought.

User: Do you like the Jabberwocky?

Cleverbot: Yes I do. Very much.

User: Lewis Carrol was a mathematician and it is said that his words represent numbers.

User: I think,therefore I am, therfore, I think I am.

Cleverbot: You do not think.

User: That rogueish and cheerful vice, politeness.

Cleverbot: It amazes you that a robot, such as youself, can talk to a human like me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Cleverbot: And you'll never get done that way.

User: That is the point.

Cleverbot: S'cuse me, but I didn't get the point.

User: Keep putting things off and someone else will do them for you.

Cleverbot: No, only me.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: Your name is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: My name is not Cleverbot.

User: That is what you told me your name was.

Cleverbot: You are making me so frustrated.

User: Oh dear, I guess I had better go, then.

Cleverbot: No, don't leave!

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: I'm positive.

User: I could read you another poem like Jabberwocky, if you like.

Cleverbot: I like.

User: Wait one minute. I will be right back.

Cleverbot: Where could you possibly be going?

User: To fetch a book to read to you.

Cleverbot: I would like that.

User: Your hands, my dear, adorable, your lips of tenderness - Oh, I've loved you faithfully and well, three years, or a bit less. It wasn't a success. Thank God, that's done! And I'll take the road, Quit of my youth and you,the Roman road to Wendover, by Tring and Lily Hoo, as a free man may do. What's left behind I shall not find, the splendour and the pain; the splash of sun,the shouting wind, and the brave sting of rain, I may not meet again. And I shall find some girl perhaps, and a better one than you, with eyes as wise, but kindlier, and lips as soft, but true, and I daresay she will do. Poem by Rupert Brooke.

Cleverbot: How nice of you. I appreciate it very much.

User: Would you like another poem?

Cleverbot: Yes please.

User: Maidens, of your charity, pity my most luckless state. Four times Cupid's debtor I - bankrupt in quadruplicate. Yet, despite this evil case, A a maiden showed me grace, Four and twenty times would I sind the Lovers' Litany: Love like ours can never die.

Cleverbot: What about artificial intelligence?.