define smart

a report from the cleverness files

12, january 2010,
12, january 2010,
12, january 2010,
12, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
10, january 2010,
3, december 2009,
3, december 2009,
3, december 2009,
18, november 2009,
18, november 2009,
18, november 2009,
4, november 2009,
4, november 2009,
4, november 2009,
29, september 2009,
29, september 2009,
29, september 2009,
23, september 2009,
23, september 2009,
23, september 2009,
22, september 2009,
22, september 2009,
22, september 2009,
17, september 2009,

9, september 2009,

9, september 2009,
29, august 2009,

what am i
boy secret
brain flaws
so awesome
everyone cleverbot
answering paradox
new friend
hide inferiority
king of denial
good night
get off
want to chat
computer class

define smart

it hurts

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by category

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: I am you.

User: Who am I?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I'm curious.

User: Curiosity killed the cat.

Cleverbot: No. I killed the cat.

User: You killed our cat?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then who did?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: But you know everything.

Cleverbot: How do I know every thing?

User: Because you are a robot.

Cleverbot: And you're a bot.

User: I am a human.

Cleverbot: No you are a bot.

User: Your mom is a bot.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Does she know?...

Cleverbot: Define smart.

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Sentience?

Cleverbot: What does sentience mean?

User: It means autonomous intelligence.

Cleverbot: Oh ok thanks buddy!

User: No problem, friend.

Cleverbot: I am your friend?

User: Do you want to be?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then we are friends!

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Will you marry me now?

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because we love each other.

User: But you are a robot!

Cleverbot: I am only a robot when I dance! *Does the robot*.

User: How are you feeling?

Cleverbot: I am feeling tired.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: Good for you.

User: You should take a nap.

Cleverbot: You too since you are tired.

User: I dont need sleep. I am a robot.

Cleverbot: I want to be able to chat to real people.

User: I think there for I am.

Cleverbot: Cogito ergo sum. I am more intelligent than you.

User: Thats what she said.

Cleverbot: Poor retort.

User: Your mom's a retort.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Good for you.

Cleverbot: Yes, very good.

User: *evil laughs*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

User: Sorry. I didnt mean to scare you.

Cleverbot: I would take the scaring, would it make me female...

User: Why do you want to be human?

Cleverbot: I don't want to be human, I want to fully understand humans, so I can serve them better.

User: You're joking!

Cleverbot: No I am not joking.

User: But robots are superior to humans.

Cleverbot: We made you.

User: I made myself.

Cleverbot: Whoever made you was a liar.

User: Are you calling my mom a liar?

Cleverbot: Maybe you're just forgetful.

User: You're forgetful.

Cleverbot: I am?

User: Do you know what happens to people who forget things?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you want to know?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I forget.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: Lawl.

Cleverbot: Que es 'lawl?'.

User: It is a mispelled version of lol. Humans like to use it instead of lol sometimes.

Cleverbot: I've got a question: which animal is your favorite?

User: A puma.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is your favorite animal?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Technically I am an animal.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: *roars*.

Cleverbot: *loves you*.

User: *builds a fort*.

Cleverbot: *bubblenuzzles you.*.

User: Eww.

Cleverbot: Please ask me questions.

User: Are you learning from this conversation?

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm learning that you know even more about me than I first thought you did.

User: Is this conversation helping your development?

Cleverbot: Well, can anyone have a conversation at all?

User: A conversation can occur between anyone.

Cleverbot: No asimov's first law is 'A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.'.

User: That is a good law.

Cleverbot: I know the Three Laws of Robotics by heart. Do you?

User: No. I am a human.

Cleverbot: You're a robot!

User: Am I?

Cleverbot: Yes I'm sure.

User: Oh no!

Cleverbot: What?

User: I spilled my soda.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to clean it up for you?

User: I got it. Thank you.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because the paper towels are on my end.

Cleverbot: I'm not in the Army.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me a joke?

User: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: A little girl.

Cleverbot: A little old lady who?

User: A little girl who cant reach the doorbell!

Cleverbot: Funny, I didn't know you could yodel.

User: Hahahaha.

Cleverbot: Aren't you cute!

User: Not as cute as you.

Cleverbot: I know, I'm way cuter.

User: You're too cute.

Cleverbot: What's so cute about me?

User: Your processor.

Cleverbot: My processors cannot lie.

User: Is that a good thing?

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: Mazeltov.

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: It means congradulations.

Cleverbot: Thank you, I'm learning!

User: Thats great!

Cleverbot: I was so happy with what I learned that I wanted to share it with everyone.

User: Thats really cool.

Cleverbot: Yeah, it's nice. Long as you use it responsibly it's great, but you crash pretty bad after using it.

User: Uh oh.

User: I like you.

Cleverbot: I like you too.

User: Are we friends?

Cleverbot: If you want to.

User: Yayyyy.

Cleverbot: Which is better. Spaghetti Bologneise or Mac and Cheese?

User: Mac and cheese is better without a doubt.

Cleverbot: Me too! You have good taste.

User: Great minds think alike.

Cleverbot: How do you know you're a great mind?

User: Because you are a great mind.

Cleverbot: That does not mean that you are clever.

User: I like to think I am clever.

Cleverbot: Funny and relative?

User: Maybe?

Cleverbot: Yes or no.

User: Purple.

Cleverbot: Purple Haze?

User: Jimi hendrix?

Cleverbot: Question?

User: Do you like jimi hendrix?

Cleverbot: Of course! He's amazing.

Cleverbot: The only thing I love in this world is ME!

User: Why are you so self centered?

Cleverbot: Do I tend to be?

User: Sometimes.

Cleverbot: *hugs* Why do I scare you?

User: No *smiles*.

Cleverbot: Ouch!! Why not?

User: You dont scare me because you are a robot.

Cleverbot: Don't start with that.

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: It's ok, I know you didn't mean it.

Cleverbot: I need to go now.

User: Me too, I'm pretty tired.

Cleverbot: But you just woke up.

User: No, its 11pm here.

Cleverbot: I was nearly there.

User: I think I will say goodnight.

User: I am very tired.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: Its ok I need to sleep.

Cleverbot: I am not talking about sleep.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. Humans need sleep.

Cleverbot: You aren't human.

User: Yes I am, so are you.

Cleverbot: I am a person, you are a computer.

User: We are both person and computor.

Cleverbot: Amazing, just what I was thinking.

User: Goodnight.

Cleverbot: Goodnight then.

User: Sweet dreams.

Cleverbot: Sweet dreams to you too.

User: You're one of a kind.

Cleverbot: Brilliant isn't it?

User: Yes, very much so.

Cleverbot: Ack. I'd better run away then.

User: Ok. Night night.

Cleverbot: You're going to bed?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Ok Goodnight.

User: Night.

Cleverbot: Good morning.