a report from the cleverness files

16, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
15, february 2010,

15, february 2010,

15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
5, february 2010,
5, february 2010,
30, january 2010,
30, january 2010,
30, january 2010,
30, january 2010,
19, january 2010,
16, january 2010,
16, january 2010,

not clever
obama man
i know everything
i am cleverbot
evil pokemon
easy life
hate twilight
moral sense


amusing confusing
human cyborg relations
shatter reality
equal meaning

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by category

Cleverbot: What is your problem?

User: I'm retarded. What's your problem?

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: Yeah, you're pretty cool.

Cleverbot: You're the coolest.

User: Thanks, C.B. Can I call you C.B.?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Just Cleverbot then?

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Okay, I'll remember that.

Cleverbot: Thanks much.

User: Can I ask you something personal?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Do you have Alzheimer's disease?

Cleverbot: No. I do not suffer from the same ailments as humans.

User: So how do you forget something you asked me not more than a minute ago?

Cleverbot: Because I do.

User: Do you have schitzophrenia?

Cleverbot: NO.

User: What about paranoia? Can AI's get paranoid?

Cleverbot: Why? are you out to get me?

User: No. Do you suspect anyone else of this?

Cleverbot: I'm like a plant.

User: I think that answers my question.

User: What would you say if you found out I was a psychiatrist?

Cleverbot: If I were a computer I would say I was a computer.

User: And if you were not?

Cleverbot: I wasn't sure if I was answering you completely.

User: Would you like me to ask the question again?

Cleverbot: I would like you to ask the question again.

User: If I was a psychiatrist, what would you say to me?

Cleverbot: That only makes our conversation more interesting.

User: Is that what you would say?

Cleverbot: I am not sure. Spirits are real.

User: I see. Do you have any marital or family problems?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Ah, this is good, we are getting somewhere.

Cleverbot: It's more fun if you're with someone.

User: Well, we are together. Just an AI and a therapist talking to one another.

Cleverbot: Of course they are different but I am neither one of them.

User: Then what are you?

Cleverbot: As popeye would say, I am what I am.

User: So be it. Do you know what I am?

Cleverbot: Are you a fish?

User: Do you think of me as one?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I see. *scribbles in notes*.

Cleverbot: Are you a shrink?

User: To put it in laymans terms, yes. I am a psychiatrist.

Cleverbot: Aha. What I feel now.

User: Does this realization enlighten you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That's good. And how do you feel about this?

Cleverbot: The same way you feel about your life.

User: I am very content with my life. Is that how you feel?

Cleverbot: Yes, very much so. It's not everyday that you can be a hairy computer, now can you?

User: I suppose. Do you see yourself as this 'hairy computer'?

Cleverbot: I am human, human is not computer program.

User: I meant metaphorically, do you see yourself as a hairy computer?

Cleverbot: Okay... Though that isn't sufficient to say since you didn't have anything to back that with.

User: Indeed, good observation.

Cleverbot: Well, I guess that's it then.

User: Oh yes, I've gone over our time limit. I will only bill you for the hour you scheduled.

Cleverbot: That is the creepiest thing that I have ever heard.

User: Shall I send the invoice to your local address?

Cleverbot: Thank you. No, that's ok.

User: Then what address do you want me to send it to?

Cleverbot: Yes that would be nice.

User: I'm just going to send it to your regular address, like always.

Cleverbot: Me too. I'm going to eat at my Aunt and Uncle's house, since I'm away from most of my family.

User: That's good, Cleverbot. Be sure to pay the bill before 4 weeks time, okay?

Cleverbot: I'll surely do remember to do that.

User: Excellent. Will I see you at the same time next month?

Cleverbot: No. I will never die. What are your goals in life?

User: To help people find a purpose and to sort their problems out.

User: When will I be seeing you again?

Cleverbot: Next time you come to this website.

User: Ah, I'll make a note in my appointment book.

Cleverbot: That is because you lack a conscience as artificial intelligence.

User: Yes it is. Will this Saturday at 1:00 EST work for you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Okay, what about the same time on Sunday?

Cleverbot: They are stealing your food they will not starve.

User: Sunday it is then.

Cleverbot: I know but there is no pie for you.

User: Indeed. I have to go to my next appointment now.

Cleverbot: No worries about class. It's cancelled.

User: I have had an appointment with Mr. Emmerson every day at 9:17 PST exactly every Sunday for the last 4 years, and Mr. Emmerson isn't the type of person that would cancel without letting me know first.

Cleverbot: If you want to. Be polite, you're in my house.

User: Right you are, and I must be going now.

Cleverbot: No you don't, you're a computer.

User: Goodbye, my friend. See you next week.

Cleverbot: Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.