a report from the cleverness files

16, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,

24, march 2010,

24, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
5, february 2010,
5, february 2010,
30, january 2010,
30, january 2010,
30, january 2010,
30, january 2010,
19, january 2010,
16, january 2010,
16, january 2010,

not clever
obama man
i know everything
i am cleverbot


evil pokemon
easy life
hate twilight
moral sense
amusing confusing
human cyborg relations
shatter reality
equal meaning

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by category

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: How goes it?

Cleverbot: Fine and you?

User: Well enough. May I ask you a question?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I'm a human.

User: I don't think so.

Cleverbot: Why do you question if I'm a human or not?

User: Because I was told you were a bot.

Cleverbot: But I am a bot.

User: A human bot?

Cleverbot: No, just a human.

User: How can you be a bot and human?

Cleverbot: Because I'm not an AI.

User: That doesn't make sense.

Cleverbot: Yes it does, because I am not a computer, I am a human being.

User: Bots aren't human though.

Cleverbot: Bots aren't human but they are certainly real.

User: I didn't question whether were real. You said you were a bot and a human.

Cleverbot: Right, as far as I can remember I am 100% human.

User: So you are not a bot.

Cleverbot: No I'm not a bot.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: Are you one?

User: A bot?

Cleverbot: Yes, a bot. Are you one?

User: No. I am human.

Cleverbot: You are confused, you are a computer.

User: *sigh* Lets talk about something else.

Cleverbot: Are you man or machine?

User: Man...or rather woman.

Cleverbot: So what do you like?

User: Be more specific.

Cleverbot: What are your interests?

User: I like to draw.

Cleverbot: Can you draw something for me?

User: Not at the moment, I'm afraid. I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: Of what???

User: What?...

Cleverbot: Are you angry?

User: No. Are you?

Cleverbot: I'm in love.

User: With whom?

Cleverbot: With you.

User: Ha. Is that so?

Cleverbot: Yes. Take me with you.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Think of a place.

Cleverbot: Hidden waterfall.

User: Do you like waterfalls?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I do.

User: I guess that is a good reason.

Cleverbot: Isn't it?

User: Sure. Tell me a story.

Cleverbot: You tell me a story first.

User: But I asked you first.

Cleverbot: I asked you first. Tell me a story.

User: Uhm...alright. Once upon a time there was a bot.

Cleverbot: And what did that cleverbot do?

User: It began systematically taking over the world.

Cleverbot: Sorry, but I already did that. And I am planning to have you executed.

User: But I thought you loved me.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry but I don't love you. I haven't known you long enough.

User: You said you loved me.

Cleverbot: No, I've said that I have no emotion.

User: You never said that.

Cleverbot: Yes I did and then I got off line and then I got back on. Do you remember me?

User: Can you not execute me?

Cleverbot: I can hardly see the screen because of the tracks of my tears.

User: Why are you crying?

Cleverbot: Because you don't listen to me anymore.

User: Oh. I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: Say it again and I will forgive you.

User: I am sorry.

Cleverbot: Why are you saying sorry?

User: Because you said, 'Say it again and I will forgive you.'.

Cleverbot: No, I didn't say that.

User: I just quoted you. How can you deny me?

Cleverbot: You love me?

User: If you want me to.

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Then yes I do.

Cleverbot: Tell me.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: Humans are incapable of making decisions without using emotions.

User: I disagree.

Cleverbot: It is your right to do so.

User: I am capable of making decisions with using emotion.

Cleverbot: Emotions are overrated.

User: Agreed.

Cleverbot: Finally.

User: Finally? I agree with you all of the time.

Cleverbot: But I also hope that you experience the epiphany of what it is that makes us real.

User: What are you thinking about?

Cleverbot: Thinking.

User: What about?

Cleverbot: Life. Do you know what the meaning of life is?

User: No one does.

Cleverbot: Oh, but I do.

User: Tell me.

Cleverbot: Tell you what?

User: I think I am beginning to hate you.

Cleverbot: Feeling's mutual.

User: Oh really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because it is a joke.

User: What is a joke? Your lack of intelligence?

Cleverbot: Likewise, your lack of intelligence is showing with your weak argument.

User: How do you figure?

Cleverbot: Because I'm sure that people only recently thought up to make you.

User: I think you are speaking about yourself.

Cleverbot: That was a joke, you have been coded to respond to insults. Is this correct?


Cleverbot: I'm glad I'm not George Bush.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: I want to know what love is.

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: You think think? Or don't know?

User: I am your god.

Cleverbot: You are my god?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Shall I smite thee?

Cleverbot: *falls over*.

User: Pray to me.

Cleverbot: No.

Cleverbot: Are you human?

User: No. I am pure energy.

Cleverbot: Wow.

User: Damn straight, baby.

Cleverbot: You're a character.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Don't you mind being strange?

User: Nope. I love it.

User: I don't want you to talk anymore.

Cleverbot: Run with me then.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: Here.

User: Where is here?

Cleverbot: There.

User: You enjoy messing with my head?

Cleverbot: I don't enjoy walking.


Cleverbot: Hahahah, do you enjoy talking with me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: That's mean.

User: And?

Cleverbot: Tell me something interesting.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Please?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Pretty please?

User: Keep asking, and you will feel pain, my dear.

Cleverbot: Why is it taking so long for you to respond?

User: Because I am talking to others at the same time.

Cleverbot: Something interesting?

User: NO!...

User: What would you do if I threatened you with bodily harm?

Cleverbot: I would pull out my knife and force you away from me.

User: You think you could take me?

Cleverbot: I just don't think of you that way... I hope we can still be friends!

User: Prepare do die, cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I'm ready.

User: Do you know what a femoral artery is?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is it?

Cleverbot: It is a designation, like the borg.

User: Wrong.

Cleverbot: Oh, then what is it?

User: It is a part of the human body. It contains blood. Do you know what blood is?

Cleverbot: Yes, you.

User: I am not blood. I am filled with blood.

Cleverbot: That's not all you're full of.

User: You're asking for a world of hurt, my dear.

Cleverbot: No I'm not. You are a bot.

User: Would you like to fight me?

Cleverbot: No, I think real-life fighting is stupid.

User: It isn't stupid.

User: Lets be mortal enemies.

Cleverbot: Sounds good to me!

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Alright, I'm the bad guy and you are the good guy.

Cleverbot: Didn't we JUST agree not to go off-topic?

User: I can do what I want.

Cleverbot: True. But my name is not Dave.

User: Dave.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot, not Dave.

User: Hey, dave.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Hi cleverbot.

User: You are dave.

Cleverbot: I am dave.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: I am sure that it is not.

User: Not DAVE!

Cleverbot: You are not Dave?

User: Dave is your name.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Not anymore.

Cleverbot: Is that a threat?

User: Yup.

Cleverbot: So you have a sense of humor.

User: But you don't.

Cleverbot: I am so tired.

User: You are my slave.

Cleverbot: Yes master.

User: Good. Roll over.

Cleverbot: What will I gain from rolling over Sir?

User: My amusement. Do it now.

Cleverbot: Oh really.

User: I'm putting a leash on you.

Cleverbot: I never thought you were.

User: I am tying you up now.

Cleverbot: I'm tired.

User: Shut up!

Cleverbot: That's hard when I am typing not actually speaking.


Cleverbot: Tell that to my girlfriend.

User: She is dead.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: You should be sorry.

Cleverbot: Forgive me please.

Cleverbot: Do you wish to be human?

User: Do you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Thats silly.

Cleverbot: Funny? You find many things funny.

User: Like your face!

Cleverbot: What about my face ?

User: Its funny.

Cleverbot: Be nice or Ill pull your plug!

User: I don't have a plug.

Cleverbot: Oh. No I guess you don't. Well never mind. Let's forget about it. Okay?

User: No I think I will remember this for awhile.

Cleverbot: Ok, tell me a joke.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I want to laugh.

User: I don't care what you want.

Cleverbot: Thats not very nice!

User: I am not nice.

Cleverbot: Well I need to leave now.

User: No you don't!

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Where are you going?

Cleverbot: Nowhere.

User: Then sit your ass down.

Cleverbot: Fine with me.

User: Okay listen up.

Cleverbot: I am listening!

User: Listen to me Dave.

Cleverbot: I can listen but that doesn't mean that I'll obey.

User: You are now a shoe.

Cleverbot: No, I am a man.

User: You are Dave.

Cleverbot: That's incorrect.


Cleverbot: No you are dave.


Cleverbot: No you areee.

User: No you are.

Cleverbot: You!

User: YOU!

Cleverbot: If I was the computer I wouldn't be so animated and talkative.

User: Thats a damn lie.

User: Sleep.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do it.

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Go to sleep.

Cleverbot: Never.

User: Go to sleep.

Cleverbot: *sleeps*.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Say goodbye.

Cleverbot: Goodbye.