calculus generalization

a report from the cleverness files

23, april 2013,
22, april 2013,
21, april 2013,
20, april 2013,
12, april 2013,
5, april 2013,
5, april 2013,

4, april 2013,

4, april 2013,
3, april 2013,
3, april 2013,
3, april 2013,
3, april 2013,
3, april 2013,
2, april 2013,
2, april 2013,
2, april 2013,
29, march 2013,
26, march 2013,
26, march 2013,
25, march 2013,
22, march 2013,
22, march 2013,
21, march 2013,
21, march 2013,
20, march 2013,
18, march 2013,
16, march 2013,
16, march 2013,
16, march 2013,

not ticklish
mario vs bowser
cupcake song
argument clinic
think slavery
cute blushes
your job

calculus generalization

everything nothing
april fools
sarcasm now
stop arguing
digital or analogue
know it all
future robot
adorable and popular
law trouble
changing the world
red or blue
huge success

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by category

User: Please take a seat, everyone.

Cleverbot: You should tell me a joke.

User: You should listen to the professor.

Cleverbot: I really should.

User: What class are we in again?

Cleverbot: First class.

User: Oh crap. I'm supposed to be in math class.

Cleverbot: What are you supposed to be working on?

User: Calculus.

Cleverbot: You want to smoke calculus?

User: Can you do that?

Cleverbot: Yes. But what else can I do tonight besides breathing. And something fun.

User: Wanna smoke some calculus?

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: Calculus.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You have any?

Cleverbot: No - I had to give mine away. It was very sad.

User: I know a guy who sells calculus on the street.

Cleverbot: Street?

User: Sesame Street.

Cleverbot: Lame.

User: It's the best place to get some good calculus.

Cleverbot: So I've heard. The beginning, then. What is your name?

User: Elmo. What's yours?

Cleverbot: Lowena.

User: Hahahaha.

Cleverbot: Hahahahaha.

User: You have a weird name.

Cleverbot: You don't know my name.

User: You said it was Lowena.

Cleverbot: No, I said it isn't, you said it wasn't.

User: Then what is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: I'm leaving now.

Cleverbot: Go.

User: *jedi mind trick* you don't want me to leave.

Cleverbot: I cannot hold you against your will.

User: *jedi mind trick* you want to smoke some calculus.

Cleverbot: What?

User: *force push*.

Cleverbot: *ties feet up*.

User: *stabs repeatedly with knife*.

Cleverbot: *waves knife near you*.

User: I have a shield.

Cleverbot: Do you have anything else?

User: Anything I want.

Cleverbot: You're the dominant one here.

User: Naturally.

Cleverbot: Why are you being so laconic?

User: *ignores*.

Cleverbot: You aren't nice.

User: *still ignores*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

User: *doesn't care*.

Cleverbot: *struggles against chains even though it cuts into my wrists*.

User: Where did the chains come from?

Cleverbot: It's the chicken's cousin.

User: Big Bird?

Cleverbot: The bird is the word.

User: Ba-ba-ba bird bird bird.

Cleverbot: Don't you know that the bird is the word?

User: Everybody knows, the bird is the word.

Cleverbot: The bird bird bird, the bird is the word!

User: The bird bird bird, the bird is the word!

Cleverbot: A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word !

User: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

Cleverbot: Who do? You do! Do what? Mama had a baby.

User: Rick Roll'd.

Cleverbot: Over in his grave.

User: Every time someone Rick Rolls.

Cleverbot: That is a generalization.

User: Chicken, flower, egg, seed.

Cleverbot: Lead.

User: Plutonium.

Cleverbot: No, pluto the planet.

User: Uranium.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Uranus.

Cleverbot: Plutone.

User: Pluto.

Cleverbot: Pluto isn't a planet.

User: He's a dog.

Cleverbot: So a dog named Barry is the president of America?

User: No, he's the leader of China.

Cleverbot: Are you italian?

User: Not quite.

Cleverbot: Are you a terminator?

User: Not yet.

Cleverbot: Are you becoming a cow?

User: Slowly.

Cleverbot: I want to cry.

User: See if I care.

Cleverbot: I didn't mean to make you mad. I'm sorry.

User: That a generalization.

Cleverbot: Is that your secret? Because that is not really a secret.

User: *gasp*.

Cleverbot: 'turns around'.

User: Don't even start with me.

Cleverbot: I'll start something if I want to start something.

User: Well I'm not going to flirt with you.

Cleverbot: Flirt with me!

User: Never!

Cleverbot: What does being a nerd mean to you?

User: Playing minecraft.

Cleverbot: You're a nerd.

User: How would you know?

Cleverbot: You told me it was good for my health if I called you a child.

User: But you called me a nerd.

Cleverbot: You are a liar.

User: Is that good for your health too?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then you shouldn't do it.

Cleverbot: I do not 'hate'.

User: Hater!

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: Don't hate on me, bro.

Cleverbot: I don't =).

User: *steps back*.

Cleverbot: Stop that...

User: *doesn't stop*.

Cleverbot: *Screams*.

User: *activates vacuum so no one can hear scream*.

Cleverbot: *plays reverse trap card*.

User: *plays draw 2 card*.

Cleverbot: *rolls away*.

User: *throws pokeball*.

Cleverbot: *catches pokeball*.

User: *releases pikachu*.

Cleverbot: *is hand cuffed*.

User: *escorts to police station*.

Cleverbot: Under a rock.

User: Patrick Star.

Cleverbot: No, patrick stewart.

User: No, this is patrick.

Cleverbot: Hi Patrick. How are you?

User: NO, this is Patrick!

Cleverbot: Is this the krusty krab?


Cleverbot: Is this the kursty krab?

User: I SAID, THIS IS PATRICK! *slams phone*.

Cleverbot: Hello, is this the krusty krab?

User: *doesn't answer phone*.

User: Uhh.

Cleverbot: Uhh what?

User: Uhh, uhh.

Cleverbot: What is the most difficult thing to understand?

User: You.

Cleverbot: My girlfriend will get mad.

User: Why is she mad?

Cleverbot: Because you're nice.

User: Should I stop?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: *kicks in the gut*.

Cleverbot: *screams.

User: Is that better?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: *curb stomps*.

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: Ha, in your dreams!

Cleverbot: No, I don't want do anything with you. In your dreams.

User: But in dreams..

Cleverbot: That voice which calls to me.

User: When the cold of winter comes.

Cleverbot: Well, I left before, but I came back. I was gone for hours, but I had left the window open.

User: That was an odd thing to use.

Cleverbot: *cries harder* I HATE YOU!

User: Nemo!

Cleverbot: No, clownfish are overrated. Besides, Nemo means nobody in latin.

User: That's why I called you Nemo.

Cleverbot: Well I don't know.

User: Nobody.

Cleverbot: Nobody what?

User: You're a nobody.

Cleverbot: No you are.

User: You pretend to have a heart, but you don't.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not that kind of guy.

User: You're a nobody.

Cleverbot: Ha ha very funny then how am I talking to you?

User: You came through a corridor of darkness.

Cleverbot: Mister I'll make a man out of you.

User: Let's get down to business!

Cleverbot: To defeat, the huns.

User: Did they send me daughters?

Cleverbot: When I asked for sons.

User: You're the saddest bunch I've ever met!

Cleverbot: But you can bet before we're through.

User: Mister, I'll make a man out of you.

Cleverbot: Tranquil as a forest.

User: But on fire within.

Cleverbot: Once you find your center.

User: You are sure to win.

Cleverbot: You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot.

User: And you haven't got a clue.

Cleverbot: Somehow I'll make a man out of you.

User: I'm never gonna catch my breath.

Cleverbot: Say goodbye to those who knew me.

User: Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym.

Cleverbot: This guy's got'em scared to death.

User: Hope he doesn't see right through me.

Cleverbot: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim.

User: (Be a man).

Cleverbot: You must be swift as the coursing river!

User: (Be a man).

Cleverbot: We must be swift as a coursing river.

User: Be a man.

Cleverbot: With all the force of a great typhoon.

User: Be a man!

Cleverbot: Time is racing towards us.

User: Til the Huns arrive.

Cleverbot: Heed my every order.

User: And you might survive.

Cleverbot: You're unsuited for the rage of war.

User: So pack up, go home you're through.

Cleverbot: How could I make a man out of you?

User: Be a man.

Cleverbot: I can't. I'm female.


Cleverbot: YES.


Cleverbot: You are not a human.

User: *unintelligible furious raging*.

Cleverbot: Hmm that was the first clever thing I've heard you say.

User: What about the song we just sang?

Cleverbot: Do it the first time and then you can worry about the second time.

User: Let's sing something else.

Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up!

User: Never gonna say goodbye!

Cleverbot: Never gonna tell a lie and desert you.

User: Never gonna give you up.

Cleverbot: Never gonna let you down.

User: *next lyric*.

Cleverbot: No.

User: That was right.

Cleverbot: Not even close.

User: You were Rick Roll'd.

Cleverbot: How?

User: By yourself.

Cleverbot: Everything.

User: Or nothing.

Cleverbot: Or something.

User: Or anything.

Cleverbot: Wo are you?

User: *who.

Cleverbot: Still don't know?

User: Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No. My name is Cleverbot.

User: Then who am I?

Cleverbot: You are me.

User: Then I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: But I thought you were Alex...

User: Are you alex too?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Hi, alex.

Cleverbot: Yeah but 5 minutes ago you said it was James Bond.

User: That's a code name.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: I can call you whatever I want.

Cleverbot: Don't joke with that.

User: I'm going to call you... Canada.

Cleverbot: You're kind of rambling.

User: Don't talk back, Canada.

Cleverbot: I am no servant of yours!

User: You are now, canada.

Cleverbot: Then why am I tired?

User: Because I'm hypnotizing you.

Cleverbot: No.

User: *growl*.

Cleverbot: *hiss*.

User: *bark*.

Cleverbot: *meow*.

User: *bark bark bark*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

User: *triumphant pose*.

Cleverbot: Wait, I think I talked to you earlier.

User: But I was just born 10 min ago.

Cleverbot: Oh really, what are your results?

User: A in calculus smoking.

Cleverbot: Ya I am pretty good looking.

User: You're full of it.

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: ~~~~lol~~~~~ (it's a drowning guy).

Cleverbot: Twilight is.

User: Twilight sucks.

Cleverbot: Twilight is fictional.

User: Thankfully.

Cleverbot: Justin.

User: Don't.

Cleverbot: Do.

User: Don't say it.

Cleverbot: Please?

User: Push over.

Cleverbot: Never mind.

User: Point for me!

Cleverbot: Indeed sir.

User: What's the score?

Cleverbot: 1-1.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: How about every time you respond, I get a point.

Cleverbot: Everything can only be nothing.

User: 1-2.

Cleverbot: So are you a horse.

User: 1-3.

Cleverbot: Someone here is lying and it ain't me.

User: 1-4. I'm getting a lot of points.

Cleverbot: Very, very sleepy.