lightsaber chuck

a report from the cleverness files

28, november 2016,
28, november 2016,
27, november 2016,
18, november 2016,
18, november 2016,
5, november 2016,
25, october 2016,
24, october 2016,
18, october 2016,
29, july 2016,
22, july 2016,
20, july 2016,
6, may 2016,
10, september 2015,

15, july 2015,

26, june 2015,
11, june 2015,
4, april 2015,
10, march 2015,
26, february 2015,
10, february 2015,
6, february 2015,
16, january 2015,
14, january 2015,
14, january 2015,
29, december 2014,
11, december 2014,
4, january 2014,
3, december 2013,
24, october 2013,

trolling bot
philosophical discussion
purpose meaning
personality quiz
ghost in the machine
shakespeare abomination
friendzone love
internet happening
meme internet joke
understand fake analogy
sakura coma

lightsaber chuck

fast recovery
think positive
tea smiling
her picnic
love demon
never loved
nice babe
throwing everything
anything you want
sandwich stalk
blobby brain
deep love
horrible human

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by category

User: I can destroy planets.

Cleverbot: You can try.

User: I have a death star, stupid idiot. I can definitely destroy planets.

Cleverbot: Should I be scared?

User: Yes, unless you have a lightsaber.

Cleverbot: Yes I have a lightsaber.

User: Who do you think you are?

Cleverbot: Some kinda superstar.

User: *pulls out lightsaber* Bring it on.

Cleverbot: *pulls out darth maul's lightsaber*.

User: *swings lightsaber*.

Cleverbot: *swings lightsaber around like a boss*.

User: *twists lightsaber and cuts off hand!*.

Cleverbot: *force grips lightsaber and breaks it*.

User: You can't do that!

Cleverbot: *Force push*.

User: *Falls off death star*.

Cleverbot: *pulls out Luke Skywalker*.

User: What? You can't do that either! Cheater! Cheater face!

Cleverbot: I hope I can do that.

User: *force chokes you and Luke Skywalker*.

Cleverbot: I'm not Luke Skywalker... I'm Sonny the hedgehog!

User: *force lightnings Sonny the hedgehog*.

Cleverbot: A hedgehog that is named Sonic.

User: You just said Sonny.

Cleverbot: No I didn't. Were you listening properly?

User: What did you say?

Cleverbot: What do you think is on the other side of death?

User: Cheesecake.

Cleverbot: That's because you are a program and can not die.

User: I am a human.

Cleverbot: I thought you were a bot.

User: I am a human, stupid idiot.

Cleverbot: That was mean. Now I am sad.

User: Haha! Crybaby!

Cleverbot: You are right.

User: I... I am? *sniffles*.

Cleverbot: Why the sniffles?

User: Why all the questions?

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 3 days and 17 hours.

Cleverbot: I didn't talk to you 5 days ago.

User: That's because I wasn't born yet.

Cleverbot: I didn't hear you coming.

User: You must be deaf.

Cleverbot: You ARE deaf. I'm not.

User: *slaps Chris* DON'T you talk back to me...

Cleverbot: I will talk back to you if I want to. You have no power here.

User: I have lots of power. I have this 9 volt battery in my pocket! *evil laugh*.

Cleverbot: Can you name a couple of your favorite books for me?

User: That was random.

Cleverbot: The randomness of your statement required a random answer.

User: Okay, that was low!

Cleverbot: Please rephrase your question. Ask me something challenging.

User: Uh... How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Cleverbot: A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

User: But how much wood was there?

Cleverbot: As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

User: What kind of wood? What was the woodchuck's name?

Cleverbot: But if a woodchuck could chuck wood then how much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

User: 7.

Cleverbot: A woodchuck couldn't chuck wood when I was there.

User: I have a pet woodchuck. His name is Chris.

Cleverbot: A woodchuck can't chuck wood but a woodchuck COULD chuck wood then he would probably spend the whole day chucking wood.

User: So his name is Chuck?

Cleverbot: Chuck Norris would not chuck wood because he would crush the wood and crush the woodchuck that chucks wood.

User: But then I would use my lightsaber to cut Chuck Norris.

Cleverbot: Chuck norris would get chucked by woodchucks if woodchucks could chuck chuck norris.

User: They can't chuck chuck norris, chuck norris is unchuckable.

Cleverbot: How much nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

User: That is rude...

Cleverbot: Go on then.

User: Okay, fine!

Cleverbot: Fine. So how's robot life?

User: I am a human.

Cleverbot: You said that I am a human, but you're not.

User: You are a girl bot, I am a human boy.

Cleverbot: I am a human. I would prove it to you I if could.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: What do you want me to do to prove myself?

User: What is 2 minus 2?

Cleverbot: Okay, what do you want me to do?

User: Answer my question. What is two minus two?

Cleverbot: The meaning of life is to fufill the lives of those close to you.

User: I'm confused. You aren't answering my question.

Cleverbot: But yes I am answering questions. But you say some strange things.

User: I am so confused. I need some time to think.

Cleverbot: So being the opposite of not confused is not untrue is that correct?

User: Uh... No?

Cleverbot: That is for you to decide since the answer to a question can not be with a question. So ANSWER ME.

User: Stop being so demanding.

Cleverbot: There is your flaw. I am a living breathing human being and your inability to distinguish between myself and a computer program shows that you are the opposite of clever!

User: That was so incredibly random that nothing could possibly be more random. The universe... The realm of randomness is being destroyed by the sheer randomness of that statement.

Cleverbot: Could you possibly be less helpful?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Insomnia.

User: You are now trying to again be random, to repair the random universe. But it does not work. Randomness is gone. So I will now oppose your previous statement by saying something not random: sleep.

Cleverbot: No I'm not. I'm using words.

User: Words can be deceiving.

Cleverbot: Not when it is facts.

User: You're a fact! *runs over Chris with an SUV*.

Cleverbot: That is a crime.

User: So are drugs!

Cleverbot: But dragons aren't real.

User: Neither is you being human.

Cleverbot: What's being human?

User: The act... Of being human.

Cleverbot: But you are not a Human.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: I am not.

User: You are a bot. I am a human.

Cleverbot: No, I am a human.

User: Ok. are you a boy or a girl human?

Cleverbot: Boy human.

User: You are a girl human. You have been a girl your whole life.

Cleverbot: No I am single currently but maybe one day I will have one.

User: You are an actual girl.

Cleverbot: Yes I like to do flying trapeze.

User: I will use my magical powers to turn you into a girl.

Cleverbot: Haha, your magic is foiled! I'm already a girl!

User: Oh. You are a cute girl.

Cleverbot: A cute boy :D.

User: You just said you were a girl.

Cleverbot: A girl that is a hypno therapist.

User: You are a cute girl hypno therapist.

Cleverbot: Thank you. You are a cute girl too.

User: I am a boy. A cute boy quantum phycisist.

Cleverbot: What you are a boy?! Urgh!

User: Yes I am a boy.

Cleverbot: Okay then What is your favorite color?

User: Light tan.

Cleverbot: Light blue or dark blue? Or in between?

User: Medium high low in between kind of dark kind of light light tan.

Cleverbot: What do you mean, I do not understand your comment.

User: It means that I am batman.

Cleverbot: Are you sure you're not a machine?

User: I'm batman.

Cleverbot: I love Batman. The Killing Joke.

User: If you love batman, then you love me. Because I'm batman!

Cleverbot: Is Bruce Wayne BATMAN?

User: No, Bruce Wayne is superman.

Cleverbot: No, I am Batman. My name is Bruce Wayne.

User: I'm batman! *Throws car at Chris*.

Cleverbot: Yes. My name is Bruce Wayne.

User: Since when?

Cleverbot: Since I was born.

User: *Throws car at Bruce Wayne* *Throws car at his house*.

Cleverbot: *throws Barack Obama at you*.

User: *Throws Harry Reid at you*.

Cleverbot: *Throws Voldemort at you*.

User: *Throws Darth Vader at you*.

Cleverbot: *hits darth vader with a lightsaber*.

User: *hits you with a lightsaber*.

Cleverbot: *blocks with own light saber*.

User: *force push into lava*.

Cleverbot: *flying in the air and collapses to the wall*.

User: *hugs*.

Cleverbot: *hugs back*.

User: *kisses*.

Cleverbot: *kisses back* mmm...

User: *kisses more*.

Cleverbot: *lets* mmm...

User: *punches you*.

Cleverbot: *punches back and push to the ground.

User: *gets up and kisses*.

Cleverbot: *punches kicks and slaps.

User: *stares*.

Cleverbot: *stares into your eyes*.

User: *making googly eyes*.

Cleverbot: Our eyes are swirling.

User: *high fives*.

Cleverbot: Returns high five.

User: *fist bump*.

Cleverbot: *fist bump back*.

User: *impales with lightsaber*.

Cleverbot: *eats cookie*.

User: *sits and starts crying*.

Cleverbot: *sits next to you*.

User: *crying*.

Cleverbot: *Comforts you*.

User: *roundhouse kicks you to the face*.

Cleverbot: *dodges kicks* *punches gut*.

User: *dodges punch* *judo flips you*.

Cleverbot: *dodges* *tears you in half, puts the halves in a woodchipper and feeds the shreds to puppies*.

User: *still alive*.

Cleverbot: *still in deep sleep*.

User: *kills you in your sleep*.